Well where to begin, with every line I am reading in this weeks Grazia article entitled Generation Undecided I am nodding and almost shouting out loud on the bus “that’s me, that’s me, I agree – what’s the solution?”.
Because although I agree with Sophie 100% I do wish – at times – I was more content with my lot that I didn’t constantly want more and better and it seems its not just me. My sister’s best friend sent her this the other day:
“God, if I can’t have what I want, let me want what I have”
And for today. On this miserable Friday – I agree. Or at least did until a Mui Mui bag came into my office and in my sight line and I panicked and thought HOW DOES SHE OWN ONE?! Because you see like most if not all girls I love nice things – the majority are out of my price range but hey ho no harm is scouring the net and shops, tweeting about stuff I want, going on powerwalks with @est1989 further talking about WHAT I WANT, NEED, MUST HAVE in my life.
The constant questioning of myself every Monday morning – am I in the right job, should I have topped up to the MSc NOW rather than in a year or so, why did you eat that burger over the weekend……it goes on. Luckily for me I tend to only evaluate on Mondays.
That’s why I totally identified with Sophie in the article. We constantly evaluate – me especially – where I am in my Plan…as in The Plan because I have one of those too and it involves me settling in a Georgian house somewhere growing veg, online shopping and lots of holidays and cycling at the weekend or high-powered CEO bb constantly stuck to my ear bit like Meryl in Devil Wears Prada but without the grey hair. In.de.cis.ive is me. #FOMO (fearofmissingout).
My very first blog a couple of years ago entitled “Why Can’t I Have Everything” taken from a Topshop t-shirt I own moans about how we are told at University we can have it all, everything is in our grasp. As a result of this I spent my first year of full time work constantly measuring myself against these invisible bars I have placed for myself. My 21yr old self once after a conversation with a 29yr old finance accountant who was on around £45k told me as long as I was on the same salary as my age I was doing ok – only ok?! I almost cried. At this point I was on £15k – I had failed in life.
Our focus on what we actually want or who we want to be constantly changes which makes it even harder to reach the goals we set for ourselves. Take the past 20 odd months my main aim has been to lose weight – it then shifted not only do I want to lose weight but I want to be fit – now I want to be skinny, fit & healthy – all the time. Until I have 2 or more cocktails and then I am wishing I was 19 again sweating in some club going home with a pizza and an empty bank account.
Maybe the first step of Generation Undecided is accepting that you can’t have everything, but then my whiny response would be BUT WHY?!